After I've been drinking...

So I grew up in a green house. A green house with a red front porch and two pink doors. It looked like a giant frog. My pink door went to the downstairs, and the other pink door went to the upstairs. There was a front yard and a back yard. My parents first moved there with my older sister. Before they were living in a commune called the Party House. Party as in the communist party. It was a commune run by our church. At some point they got sick of pooling all their money together to pay for everyone's wisdom tooth to be pulled out and what-not, and decided to move into the frog house where I grew up.

The first upstairs neighbor I remember was Janet. Janet From Another Planet. She was a former Hare Krishna, and would call my sisters and me her "little hares" (pronounced like hairy). We would scream up to her window when we got stung by bees, and she would throw ice cubes down to us to put on the stings. Sometimes she would let me come upstairs to see her collection of pine cones. My clearest memory of her was when she taught me how to make a band aid out of a cotton ball and a piece of scotch tape. She had a boyfriend named Bruce. He did a lot of LSD. He listened to Jimi Hendrix and tried to kiss the sky.

After Janet moved out to go live in a mental hospital, Caroline moved in. She used to argue with my dad all the time, and listen to old Tin Pan Alley songs over and over again. She was French Canadian, and looked like the most plainest person I've ever seen in my life. When I read Sarah, Plain and Tall, I always imagined Sarah looked like Caroline. Later on she ended up being my middle school teacher. That was weird. She wasn't the first, or the last, of my teachers that hated my father.

After Caroline was Bossy Heather and her fiance. I don't remember his name. He was very plain like Caroline and easy to boss around. That's why Heather liked him. Actually they bought the house with us in it. They moved in upstairs and kept us downstairs, using our rent to help pay the mortgage. Heather thought we were too noisy, and would also fight a lot with my father. They raised the rent a lot. We moved out. At this point it was only my dad, my little sister, and me. We got a small apartment in North Seattle. I was 17. I have a drawing I made when I was 16 of the house. I'll try to find it and post a picture.

Limbo...



Meh, I'm feeling very lazy today. I wanted to stay in bed instead of going to work. I managed to get completely covered in flour while running the puff dough today. The UPS guy came by to drop off a package, and when he handed me the signature thing, and tried to wipe the flour off my hands with my chef coat and instead produced a giant cloud of flour and got even more flour on my hands. There was no escaping it. Later on when I was sweeping the floor, I looked down at the pile of flour and lamented to Randy that I could have made my Sunday morning biscuits with all that flour.
  • Current Music: Nothing Lasts...But Nothing is Lost-Shpongle

And why not?

The latest survey thing...

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Where am I? How long was I asleep?

2. How much cash do you have on you?
Eleven sovereigns and four farthings.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Moor

4. Favourite planet?
Neptune

[Come hither for the rest...]5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?

What is that some sort of telegraph?

6. What is your favorite ringtone on your phone?
High C I presume.

7. What shirt are you wearing?
I am still in my dressing gown.

8. Do you label yourself?
A man of good breeding.

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?
I am wearing my house slippers. I haven't the foggiest idea who made them. They were given to me by my aunt.

10. Bright or dark room?
Dreary

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you
While quite intelligent in her field, she knows nothing of any value in geology. Not that it would matter. I wouldn't fathom bringing a member of the gentler sex on an expedition.

12. What does your watch look like?
Gold shield premium mechanical pocket watch with chain.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Pondering

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
The last telegraph I received was from a Mr. Pensive. He was inviting me to visit him next Thursday evening for a game of Whist.

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
Well, there are both those numbers upon my watch, and in several of the tomes around me.

16. What's a word that you say a lot?
Confound you! I know that they are two words, but they do pass though my lips too often.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
My dearest niece Annabelle.

18. Last furry thing you touched?
Ah ha ha! A gentleman never speaks. I do say!

19. How many drugs have you done in the last week?
I did have a bit of the cocaine a fortnight ago.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
I am still waiting on a portrait done six weeks ago.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
Fifty-two This really is the age where life begins in earnest.

22. Your worst enemy?
That wretched Woodrow Crutchfield. Oh, I do despise him!

23. What is your current desktop picture?
Why, I have a picture of my dear mother upon my desk.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
I asked my manservant to bring me some tea and buttered toast.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, what would it be?
By bucks, do you mean the American dollar? I could use a million of those.

26. Do you like someone?
Oh, I do indeed.

27. The last song you listened to?
Le roi Lear Overture by Hector Berlioz

28. What time of day were you born?
I am a prompt man, and arrived at eight in the morning.

29. What is your favourite number?
20,000

30. Where did you live in 1987?
I don't even understand this question? Do mean to say one can time travel? Most fascinating.

31. Are you jealous of anyone?
That horrid Woodrow Crutchfield!

32. Is anyone jealous of you?
I'm sure he would be of me, if only he knew...

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
I do believe I spent last November the ninth in Paris.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Oh, if a vendor takes even a shilling from me, I would grab him by the ears and give him a good thrashing.

35. Do you consider yourself kind?
I can be kind, but only when it pleases me.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
I often fancied being a sailor. Perhaps I would get a blue anchor on my right bicep.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
A man of my upbringing is fluent in most important languages.

38. Would you move for the person you loved?
I have several times, but those harlots all betrayed me!

39. Are you touchy feely?
Not so much.

40. What’s your life motto?
If the bastard deserves it, he will get it.

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
My watch, my raven walking stick, and my spectacles.

42. What’s your favourite town/city?
Ahh, Paris.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
A most splendid volume on the aquatic life of the coastal regions of Southern Australia.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Just this morning I wrote one up.

45. Can you change the oil on a car?
No, I usually have my coachman oil the wheels of my carriage.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
The last thing I heard from her was adieu.

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
My father's line is of unknown Dutch origin, and my mother's comes from a long line of Prussian nobility.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
Why, I always dress fancy. Today I plan on wearing my Sable brushed cotton trousers, a white tombstone shirt, a Livingston black brushed cotton vest, topped with a burgundy velvet smoking jacket, and a brown medallion ascot.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Only my heart.

50. Have you been burned by love?

Does it have any other temperature?



If the bastard deserves it, he will get it.
haha, the best thing to come out of my mind today.
  • Current Mood: silly silly

...

In other news...I had a dream that I took an airplane to England. There I met some astronauts who informed me that I was to be their food. I didn't take the news well. I argued with them for some time with the usual, You can't eat me. I have a kid you know. Go fuck yourselves. They still insisted on having me for their space entree, so I bolted. I was chased through many floors of a mall. Eventually I found a door with a tiny hidden hallway behind it. I went down it a ways then realized it there was no outlet. I went back to the door but it was locked and the hall started moving. I went back down the hall and opened the blinds on one of the windows to discover that I was in some sort of tiny experimental aircraft that was about to take off. At first I freaked out, but then I realized that this was my escape. I managed to fly back to Seattle. After that I met up with my friend Angela to see a free concert in a tiny little venue. Neil Young was there sitting on the edge of the stage with a bunch of other old dudes. Everyone brought their cat. Angela had her cats, I had Whiskey the Cat, even Neil Young had a cat. Some more famous people showed up. Angela was trying to get me all hyped up about it, and I was like, "Dude, just flew here by myself from England where astronauts tried to make me their food, and now I have to keep my cat from freaking out."

Please can you interpret my dream? Also, does England even have astronauts? I feel so naive right now, but I have no idea. I can't think of a single English astronaut.

My year in pictures...

Yeah I did it!

Year One! on 365 Project

One year at project365.org Now if you feel so inclined here is a post featuring the best from each month. Clicking on any image will link you to my project where you can see it larger if you'd like:

October (2013)Collapse )

November...Collapse )

December...Collapse )

January...Collapse )

February...Collapse )

March...Collapse )

April...Collapse )

May...Collapse )

June...Collapse )

July...Collapse )

August...Collapse )

September...Collapse )

October (2014)Collapse )

Subjectless...

It's still foggy out. Day four.
Bird and the Boat on 365 Project

I didn't get all the cake baked today. I tried to coordinate oven and mixer use with Randy, but after two hours he couldn't make up his mind what to do. This always happens when I try to make him make a decision. He couldn't, so I did. I went home and decided to finish making cake tomorrow. Emily was cool with that. It was very irritating. I asked him, "Are you going to make the napoleons today or tomorrow?"

"I don't know. If I make them today, then I don't need to come in tomorrow. I can't afford not to come in tomorrow. Well I guess I could block and ice the napoleons tomorrow instead of Monday. But what if we get a big order from Peterson? I should get the stuff done today. What about you? I don't want to make you put off making your cake. I really need to come in tomorrow to pay my rent. I really should do the napoleons today though. It would be silly to just come in tomorrow to make the napoleons..."

That went on for two hours. I was able to make the rest of my chiffon while he just stood there hemming and hawing, but at that point I was so mad at him that I didn't even want to be in the same room as him so I said, "If you can't make a decision, I will. I'm going home. Goodbye." I'll make the chocolate sheet cakes in the morning.

Ha ha! My book just arrived while I was typing. Nikon D3100 From Snapshots to Great Shots. Not the actual camera yet, but at least I can start reading the book and getting to know my camera before it's even here.

So yeah, I left work early today, and rode my bike along the water. I thought about going to Pike Place to pick up some red peppers and onions, but I also wanted some italian sausage (I'm making my favorite tomato sauce tonight with all my ripe garden tomatoes). I ended up taking the sky bridge to Queen Anne and going to the Met. Market. I picked up some eel sushi while I was there, and stopped at the fishing dock on my way home to eat lunch. That's still my favorite lunch spot. I took that picture above from the dock. Here's one from December, when I was riding home late. It seems like the dock is more popular after the sun goes down. Usually when I'm there, it's just me, the guy running the bait window, and maybe one other person.:
Late Night Fishermen on 365 Project

Tomorrow will my my 365th shot at 365project.org. I wonder if I should make any grand plans after work to take a memorable shot. It would be nice to take a picture of my Nikon, but alas, Amazon says I might have to wait until the 14th. Maybe the book, ha! Oh well, I'm going to go start reading that now.

EDIT: I love this book already. It's even teaching me things I didn't know about my Lumix. Check this out:
kittyoutoffocus

See how I'm sitting here on my couch under my cozy blanket reading my book? Note how the book is in focus but Whiskey the Cat is all fuzzy? I know this sound naive, but I had no idea I could get this camera to focus on something that wasn't in the focus area the camera was set to focus on. That's a nifty little trick. You just press the shutter release button half-way to get the camera to focus, keep the button held down, and move the camera to set up the shot you want, then push it all the way down. As long as you keep the button half-way down after it focuses, it will continue to be focused on the distance it locked into when you originally pushed down the button.

You promise us a bright golden future..

The fog has come back.
The Fog Has Returned on 365 Project

I got off a little early today and rode my bike downtown. I talked to a one-legged veteran in a wheelchair. He was looking for handouts, but I let him talk anyway, and gave him some cash. He said he was looking for something to cover his co-pay for his medication. Whether that was true, or his "medication" is something a little bit stronger is his own business. The thing that seemed to light him up the most was that I actually acknowledged him. He said he was sitting out there all day, and I was the first person to do that. He gave me a pressed penny he found with a Seattle emblem on it to keep in my wallet. I didn't give out anymore cash today, but I did try to give out smiles to much of the ignored Seattle population. No one else even asked me for change, but I did get a lot of smiles back.

A few days ago two 20-somethings were out asking for money so they could get fucked up. One even stopped me with a big grin on his face, and asked me if I could help them out with some beer/drug money. I said no, I have to buy groceries to feed my kid and waved my empty grocery bag at him. That's a situation where I think those kids just need to go get a job. There's plenty of jobs at Pike Place that will pay you enough to spend your lunch breaks at The Athenian getting drunk. Ha, when I was managing at the bakery down there, I used to have to go to The Athenian to hunt down my staff and coax them back to the bakery for the afternoon. That, and wake Pat up in his van. He preferred a solo lunch break. Probably with something a bit stronger than beer.

So here is Judas:
judasthecrow

I saw him wandering around last week and worried he wasn't going to last very long with that broken wing, but I was happy to see him today still hanging out in the same area. Who knows, maybe he'll heal up and be able to fly away. Why I call him Judas, I don't know? That's just a name that's been popping up a lot recently. He even gets his own heavy metal song:

(no subject)

Happy Friday! I made a silly selfie of me outside the bakery. It's hot, so I'm wearing an apron instead of my chef coat. I should have probably smiled for all of you, but the sun was in my eyes, and I find taking my own picture to be confusing...

workselfie

Ha ha, bird poop too.

Friday feels wonderful. Baseball is on the radio, the sun is shining, and Claire made me an Italian soda.